“The old ones will leave…and I do believe…that I’ll surrender to it all…cause the best-laid plans…unfold like fans…then snap tight on the spot…and a year can change a lot…another orbit around the big star…guess I’ll give it another shot…’cause a year can change a lot” ~ Chris Velan (singer songwriter)
One year ago, on March 1, 2015, I met up with my dear friend Shannon, for lunch. Shannon like all of my friends, has been instrumental in helping me through the past year. She is an amazing and patient listener. And when I might have droned on too long on any given subject, our eyes would meet and we would both get a silly grin on our faces. Shannon, knowing that I knew what had to be done, and me, knowing and admitting that I needed to let it go.
On that day a year ago, we went to lunch at Le Cheese, a grill cheese dive in NDG. Grill cheese…comfort food…the best comfort food. We talked. We laughed. I probably cried. And on that day Shannon said to me, “Julie, in a year from now when we are together, you will look back and will have come so far.”
At the time, it was so hard to imagine. Back then I was dealing with heartbreak. With putting one foot in front of the other. With trying to eat. With trying to sleep. With trying to help my kids grapple with the reality of their new life. With trying to grapple with the reality of my new life.
It was so hard to imagine days without tears. Days without pain.
Yet. Here. I. Am.
Days without tears. Days without pain.
I am not with Shannon today, March 1st, 2016. But she is not far from my thoughts. Today, all of my friends are on my mind and in my heart.
As I post this, I am lying in bed. Listening to the sound of the ocean outside my window. The sun is shining and the beach is calling. My schedule today, and for the next 6 days will consist of sleeping, reading, yoga, spa treatments, tea. All on repeat.
No tears. No pain.
One year later from that comforting lunch, I can look back and see that I have accomplished so much. That I have come so far. Because of the love and support of my friends.
Some highlights of my year include (and will be expanded upon in future posts…yes there will be more):
Learning how to change a flat. Not on my car but on my bike.
I embarked on a fitness journey that has made me stronger and more fit than I have ever been in my entire life.
Running 10 kilometres without stopping. And doing it in 60 minutes.
Developing a slight obsession with taking pictures of sunrises and flowers.
Buying a new bed and putting it together myself. It’s from Ikea. I have been sleeping on it for 6 months and every morning I wake up grateful, not that I was able to put it together, but that I am not on the floor!
I took a trip on my own to New York City.
I took the kids on a long ago promised trip, to New York City. For Christmas.
I got a part time job.
I took a semi-intensive french class for 4 weeks.
I took the class at the same time that I started my job. The kids and I all survived the numerous 12 hours days.
I started a new blog which was raw and real. It allowed me to write exactly what I wanted to write. Say what I needed to say. Get it all out of my head.
And so here I am. One year later, on March 1, 2016.
It is time to bring my two blogs together. That one and this one. The new blog and the old blog. Time to move forward. Time to write like I always did, about my family, about my days. My new family. My new days.
Thank you for being patient in my absence. Over the next while, my blog, this blog, will transform. One day, one step, one breath at a time.
Just like I did.
Just like I am.